The Old Goat Rides on. And what a ride it was for sure and what a posse we had. For years now the ole Soulmaster has been having the annual Old Goat Birthday ride so named for me now the Old Goat and also being Capricorn. I'm not old yet but someday before I dare imagine, that there old age thing is going to set it. But it aint yet and half the fun of this ride is diggin' the fact we're all pretty young and most all of us still riding' tough.

Over the years the Old Goat has seen groups of big and small but this year was the biggest by far with a trail gang of 18. Imagine that smack on in a record breaking stretch of rain, which I think stands now at 30 days straight, all these folks showing up to ride. Amazing what a peak a boo view of the sun and free Espresso will do to lure out the trail hounds. But whatever it made me feel pretty good ya know Almost As Tall like feeling to have all the bros and sis's around to rally.

So we all powered up on the Spro a bit too much and got the whirlies (my name for being way to beaned out) had our shop sundries and rolled out. Trail of 18 Dirt Pigs rallying up the switchbacks of the climb. It was cool to hear all the different conversations going. The Wildabeast rappin' with JC. DC at the back shootin' video, the Kona Clan spread all out and all the rabble and rouse in between shootin the breeze. Bunch of Dirt Pigs out for good times.

As is the way on the Old Goat I put together a route of the nastiest greasy single track I could find. Being it's January in the Northwest you might as well embrace reality right? It going to rain so go with it learn to love the mud. And with all the rain the mountain did not disappoint.

I was pretty surprised at how good all the old school trails like the Three Pigs were for heading up. But it was still pretty heinous especially for the Single Speeders. It's nice to make them suffer once and again on the climbs too cuz they kick my ass on so many others. Ya know what I like about Single Speeders ? They never bitch about their one gear whether they are spinning out, pushing up or just rallying-a-long. At least not with the geared geeks around. Every now and then you can hear them whisper stuff off in the bushes together like I really should have grabbed a 17t or what the hell ever stuff like that though.


But they had nothing on SUPER DAVE. Talk about ride of the day. See SUPER DAVE busted his 15 year old hand me down Syncros Aluminum two bolt seat post on the oldest of old school trails the Lost Giants. I guess pretty proper place for it to give up the ghost. We all bummed for a bit and I offerred for him to roll back to my pad and pull a post out of one of my rigs. But he said all like ahhhh well I'll just see how far I can roll it out. DAMN if SUPER DAVE didn't rally the whole remaining 3/4 of the ride 2 hours plus, minus seat a post. That's right, Towers Road, Wonderland, Oly, 187, Cabin all DAVE ALL DAY. SUPER DAVE RULES! Old Goat history made there no doubt!

That's just but a bit of the fun we were having that day. It didn't rain the whole ride and their was this really weird blue thing above our heads. We think it may have been the sky. Been raining so long we're not sure. Along the route we all had different stuff to do and folks split off at different times. Lots of folks off to start the beers flowing for the Seahawks game (they won) and others off to kid duty.


By the end of it all the crew was down to about eight and it was all just flowing. Sweet Singletrack at high speed with not much of a care. Me and old Shit Ball Assembly Guy (SAG) were just railing it with me doing my best impression of the Eddy lines I learned. I was totally sketchy at best on the Intestine full two wheel drifting waiting for traction. Couple of times I was getting a bit "creative" with the lines and I could hear Odie and Marteeen hooting behind.

It was super cool everyone showed up. Big thanks to them all for making another Old Goat ride one to remember. Can't hardly wait till next year.

It was a lot like old times but new like and still really, really good.

Damn I love bikes.

Peace,

MP

It's good to read the boys in Monaco are doing well. Trebon even sent me a note saying thanks for getting them set up in the dope Kona pad in Monaco. Of course Russ Carty of Kona Europe was a help to them too making sure they got in there ok. Here in the Pac NW yes it's still raining. We had two days of broken clouds but it is back to downright pissing again. But I got back out on the bike as usual. I have too. Next Saturday is my annual Birthday ride and I gotta to keep somewhat fit to keep up with Shit Ball Assembly Guy, Wildabeast, Fast Eddy, Slow Dale and the rest of the posse.

But I know how to keep them in check for the most part. I find the greasiest nastiest single track and that becomes the up route. At least there my old age and wisdom (and the occaisional well timed brake check) keeps me at the front. But for the most part they are all pretty respectful of the old man Marko. That or they are way too wired from all the Espresso and can't keep their balance at such a slow pace.

It sure is good to get all the posse back together again at least once a year. We meet at my pad, drink copius amounts of Spro and head for the trails. It's always especially good to see Shit Ball Assembly Guy. He used to wrench for me back in the day when I was managing a bike shop. When he came to us he was a poor lost soul riding a MT. Shasta Pachanga Comp with the seat post fused in one spot.

You see I was building the brand new Paramount S90 with the new Sountour XC Pro 8 Speed stuff and SAG was off to a to get another Scwhinn Woodlands or something. He was all bummed out on assembling $300 Schwinn High Plains and was feeling all unappreciated.And me with my all knowing tact ribbed right into him saying "Yeah right EA, you're just a shit ball assembly guy to me...." Somehow the name stuck.

But now he kicks my ass. For years I was the Soulmaster MP and he the Grasshopper. I'll not forget the first day he schooled me. A good day and a bad day all rolled into one. I guess what can you expect from the guy that introduced me to my wife.

But ole Shitball Assembly Guy (SAG) earned my respect for good one day. See I've never seen my buddy the Wildabeast ever get pissed. But SAG had the farts soooooo bad from too many beers at the 3B and he was just killing us all in the shop. Finally Wildabeast with all sincerity and aggression I've ever seen from him said if SAG didn't go fart outside he was going to kick his ass.

Then he promptly showed him a scooter that from there forward was known as the fart scooter. And he was damn serious about making sure the thing was ridden out the front door before flatulance was commenced. SAG always had this silly smile on his face as he scooted out to front door to break wind especially as he scooted past the college babes hanging out in the coffee shop that was part of the shop.

Ohhh those were the days....well maybe not but they sure are good to remember once and again. Now I gotta go lube my rear derailleur cable so I can ride tomorrow. It has become so sticky I fear I'll bust my shifter trying to change gears. Nothing like the Pacific NW....at least we get to ride all year long.

Ta Ta For now.

Peace,

Parole Officer MP

So my boys got a blog. I figured I might as well get on going too. I can't let them always have the fun. I mean here I am in the lovely Pacific Northwest watching it rain at least as much as there in Belgium. Sure it's 40 degrees and raining a scant 4 degrees above what they are whining about but none-the-less I aint laying around the house playing video game after getting a shot in the ass of killer pain meds.

Somewhere along the way someone needs to tell it from the other side of the fence. You know all of us guys that make it happen for the racer geeks. Guys like Matson the mechanic that has to drink beer like a champion all night long, puke his guts out and and still make his way out to the race site at dark thirty AM so he can adjust Ryan's front brake for the 15th time or Barry tire pressure to 33lbs.......

Guys like me that have to party all night long pretending to be interested in Liberty Mutual Insurance hoping they may one day want to sponsor the cool racer (just kidding Liberty if you're reading) kids of Barry and Ryan. So yeah here I am on the other side of the fence shoutin' out for my bros on this side.

Sometimes those racer guys are so self centered they won't even take a bike in the pits all race long. It's like a cruel joke. Ya know I could be in the beer tent and here I am holding Ryan's bike, or Barry', or Tonkin's, or Ann's (but she's the best) or Wendy's pretending to look cool.

Sometimes we even have to brawl with officials like at this past natz. Come on were they serious about the elite men starting 14 wide in the start chute because the UCI points were UN DEMOCRATIC.....you gotta be kidding me. So yeah I bitched to get it 8 wide. Of course I didn't even tell Ryan what was up because I knew he'd get even more uptight. Or like standing on the start line looking at McCormick without a spot on the start chute without a spot that wasn't anything but ice. So in my sneaky ass way I just had my boyz and McCormick roll up 20 feet so at least the front line could start on pavement. Mr. official was none too happy but.....Ohhh the things we do for the team.

But I digress I mean really how hard can it be travelling all around Europe racing bikes. Sure theres' some training time in the saddle but enough with the whining already. So here I am getting ready for the first day back and work and the impending foozball (or table soccer as they call in Euroland..Or is that table football) match with the Dan of the Dan and Jake here at Kona USA. And sure enough he starts giving me grief about my sissy boys wanting to use the Kona apt. in Monaco.

Yeah I guess they knew better than to ask me, the Parole Officer, cuz they knew I give 'em the ration they deserve along with telling them to keep their damn bikes upright. Yes, that's right boys the rubber side goes on the bottom not the top or side.

But for the most part these Twin Timbers just set me up for the 16 month old twin boys I have here at home. Jah help me if they turn out like them....A pretty boy and a clown tall as trees looking to do nothing but race bikes. Sometimes I think the toddlers are easier to deal with. Cuz if you're not careful before you know it they'll be posing like hookers at an IMBA benefit during Sea Otter. No joke and they still owe me the photo to prove it (and my share of the $$ as team manager).

So this is the first post of the Almost As Tall blog. Letting you all know the other side of the game. You know things like sluttin' for sponsorship to keep these guys on sweet bikes and on the circuit. Barry at least has the manners to say thanks once and again in his race write ups. I think he might even mean it. To be fair to Ryan he did send me a text message once promising me he won't get 2nd at Nationals in Rhode Island again (it better be 1st next time bud) and saying thanks for dinner.

So that's all for now. Now I gotta go continue my plea for Kona to send me to Worlds in the Netherlands cuz the Twin Towers already took all the money....no Dan it's not because Amsterdam is the easiest way to get there. No really the boyz might need my help....If Jiri will let me get within 500 yards of them. But really it's my girls that I'll be there to watch Wendy and Ann are going to kick some ass. You boyz better too or else.....

Peace Out,

Parole Officer MP