So my boys got a blog. I figured I might as well get on going too. I can't let them always have the fun. I mean here I am in the lovely Pacific Northwest watching it rain at least as much as there in Belgium. Sure it's 40 degrees and raining a scant 4 degrees above what they are whining about but none-the-less I aint laying around the house playing video game after getting a shot in the ass of killer pain meds.

Somewhere along the way someone needs to tell it from the other side of the fence. You know all of us guys that make it happen for the racer geeks. Guys like Matson the mechanic that has to drink beer like a champion all night long, puke his guts out and and still make his way out to the race site at dark thirty AM so he can adjust Ryan's front brake for the 15th time or Barry tire pressure to 33lbs.......

Guys like me that have to party all night long pretending to be interested in Liberty Mutual Insurance hoping they may one day want to sponsor the cool racer (just kidding Liberty if you're reading) kids of Barry and Ryan. So yeah here I am on the other side of the fence shoutin' out for my bros on this side.

Sometimes those racer guys are so self centered they won't even take a bike in the pits all race long. It's like a cruel joke. Ya know I could be in the beer tent and here I am holding Ryan's bike, or Barry', or Tonkin's, or Ann's (but she's the best) or Wendy's pretending to look cool.

Sometimes we even have to brawl with officials like at this past natz. Come on were they serious about the elite men starting 14 wide in the start chute because the UCI points were UN DEMOCRATIC.....you gotta be kidding me. So yeah I bitched to get it 8 wide. Of course I didn't even tell Ryan what was up because I knew he'd get even more uptight. Or like standing on the start line looking at McCormick without a spot on the start chute without a spot that wasn't anything but ice. So in my sneaky ass way I just had my boyz and McCormick roll up 20 feet so at least the front line could start on pavement. Mr. official was none too happy but.....Ohhh the things we do for the team.

But I digress I mean really how hard can it be travelling all around Europe racing bikes. Sure theres' some training time in the saddle but enough with the whining already. So here I am getting ready for the first day back and work and the impending foozball (or table soccer as they call in Euroland..Or is that table football) match with the Dan of the Dan and Jake here at Kona USA. And sure enough he starts giving me grief about my sissy boys wanting to use the Kona apt. in Monaco.

Yeah I guess they knew better than to ask me, the Parole Officer, cuz they knew I give 'em the ration they deserve along with telling them to keep their damn bikes upright. Yes, that's right boys the rubber side goes on the bottom not the top or side.

But for the most part these Twin Timbers just set me up for the 16 month old twin boys I have here at home. Jah help me if they turn out like them....A pretty boy and a clown tall as trees looking to do nothing but race bikes. Sometimes I think the toddlers are easier to deal with. Cuz if you're not careful before you know it they'll be posing like hookers at an IMBA benefit during Sea Otter. No joke and they still owe me the photo to prove it (and my share of the $$ as team manager).

So this is the first post of the Almost As Tall blog. Letting you all know the other side of the game. You know things like sluttin' for sponsorship to keep these guys on sweet bikes and on the circuit. Barry at least has the manners to say thanks once and again in his race write ups. I think he might even mean it. To be fair to Ryan he did send me a text message once promising me he won't get 2nd at Nationals in Rhode Island again (it better be 1st next time bud) and saying thanks for dinner.

So that's all for now. Now I gotta go continue my plea for Kona to send me to Worlds in the Netherlands cuz the Twin Towers already took all the money....no Dan it's not because Amsterdam is the easiest way to get there. No really the boyz might need my help....If Jiri will let me get within 500 yards of them. But really it's my girls that I'll be there to watch Wendy and Ann are going to kick some ass. You boyz better too or else.....

Peace Out,

Parole Officer MP